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asterbatics) wrote2013-04-10 07:40 pm
asterbatics) wrote2013-04-10 07:40 pm
Entry tags:
ic contact
"Your call has been forwarded to an automatic message system.
ROBIN is currently unavailable.
Please leave your message after the beep—"
BEEP!
video.
[ he remembers waking up in haven the last time — he knows it must have been a last time because the room is different now, the house is different, and even though it doesn't feel like any time has passed, he knows it must have, because it always does — he remembers how disconnected from his own body he felt, and it's no different now. he doesn't feel like he should even be here. he should be dead, and no matter how many times haven brings him back, he's still going to feel like he should be dead, like he's somehow been cut off from the land of the living, like part of him will be forever trapped in some kind of limbo in between life and death. ]
[ he can't even be sure robin is still here the way people come and go from haven all the time, but he's the first person wally thinks to check for in the phone (he always will be). they were in that mothership together at the very end — they died together — and it's the only thing that keeps replaying itself in wally's head, the ticking of the timer countdown, the inevitability that the last things they would ever see were each other and the bright hot colors of the explosions that consumed them. ]
[ he can barely keep himself from pacing in his room as he searches through the phone's pictures, desperately hoping the next picture will be his best friend — his best friend that he needs to know is alive, even if it's in the one place he never wanted to see or remember or ever be part of again. but it's better to be here and together than to be alone in the dark, black void of death. he can feel his heart jump in his chest when he finally sees that familiar face, and it's almost like he can't breathe, his heart racing so fast out of fear and desperation and an overwhelming sense of excitement, almost — and he could almost cry just seeing that face and knowing robin is here and alive and probably close enough that he could just run and find him — ]
[ but he shouldn't. he knows how his powers affect him in haven, and the last thing he wants is to pass out on robin before they even have a chance to properly reunite. so it's a video call, for now, until he gets a location, because he needs to see robin just as much as hear his voice, to see he's all in one piece and okay ... and he'll really try his hardest not to cry, but no promises. ]
[ his throat feels tight while he waits for the call to connect, anxiety building up in his stomach like he might just puke from anticipation. and then the feed finally opens and wally is smiling, desperate and relieved all at the same time. ] Rob, hey — it's me. It's me. Where are you? I can't — [ be alone right now, he doesn't say. he swallows hard, desperate to keep his tears at bay. ] I need to see you, dude. In person. [ video just doesn't cut it. ]
video.
it gets easier, because it always gets easier, the constant state of it familiar enough in itself to keep rob moving, to keep him on edge.
having various states of the bat family around him keeps him occupied, finding the time and scenarios to learn as much about them as he can. conner helps a lot too, sticking closer to rob that he probably would have before. rob knows it's because he thinks he might disappear again, knows it's because his first disappearance did enough to everyone he left behind. and it helps, it does, but it doesn't take long before rob is finding himself alone (conner has a girlfriend, after all - the entire team now pairing up and leaving rob back, still trying to figure out why, how, where, when...). and when rob ends up alone, he ends up missing kf even more. he left his best friend here, left him behind, and the fact that he's not here sits heavier and heavier on rob's chest as the days go on.
he did this before, he could do this again, but somehow this time it's different because rob knows what it means to survive haven alone and to survive it with others, and he feels - somehow, he's not sure why - more alone now than he ever really has. he pushes that away, down and out like everything else he was trained to do. surviving haven isn't about little bursts of emotion, isn't about feeling lonely when you wake up in the morning and when you get back in at night. surviving haven is about being prepared and proactive and efficient. he's a bat and bats survive, have to survive (and he pushes what he knows about the future away, doesn't care to think about what damian has told him, what he knows happens) and have to make sure everyone survives with him.
that's what gets him up in the morning, and keeps him going through the day and night. that's what has him out, and about, patrolling and checking and getting to know, becoming familiar. when his device goes off he assumes it's someone else - anyone, honestly - and doesn't even check the image. just sets it up (looking off in the distance) and turns it on, mouth opening to respond- ]
Rob here, how- [ but then he freezes, because he hears that voice, eyes going wide at the sound of it. he looks, seeing red and yellow, seeing wally, and almost drops his device then and there. he notices the tone heavy in wally's voice, can tell something is wrong, and he's moving before he really even knows why or where. ]
Stay there, I'll come to you. [ off the side of the building he goes. his voice is weirdly clinical, a clue as to how rob has been going about things here in haven since his re-arrival. he's freaking out, which means he's sliding further and further down the line of 'bat-like'. but he'll ease back out of it once he sees kf, once he knows this isn't some kind of joke. ] Where are you?
video.
I'm — [ where, where — he'd bolted after seeing rose with someone else, maybe panicked a little and overreacted, but he can't handle whatever emotions he's feeling right now because there are just too many. he is, in every sense of the word, overwhelmed. he's nervous and scared and angry and jealous and hurt and relieved all at the same time that he's not even sure if he's really feeling anything at all; there's just too much going on in his head that it's easier to just try to shut it all out and only focus on robin. if he can do that, he'll be okay (he can convince himself he's okay, even when he's not). ]
[ he has to scan his surroundings for a location. he ran without thinking, no destination in mind — but, then, subconsciously, he must have had one, because he's currently outside the housing block he used to live in. ] Outside block five.
video.
where, where he needs a place, needs a direction, needs to already be there and make this better because kf is back and looking like he's come back from dying, from something worse. rob's head is reeling with everything that could have happened, everything that he once again failed to protect his team from, but he pushes it all away. another time, he'll worry about it later. later, once he's figure out what is wrong. later, once he's made this better.
because kf, ten months or no, is still is best friend.
outside block five and robin is on the move, no more than ten minutes away as he flies between buildings, nearly trips as he comes sliding to the ground. ] Stay. There. [ and then he cuts the feed, running faster than he has in a long time, legs and chest screaming at him for the exertion. but he doesn't care, he can't care, because a few minutes later he turns the corner and is outside block five, eyes wide as he looks around for the yellow, the flsh of red. ]
Kf?! [ he tries to hold back the slight panic, masks it by the volume of his voice. he needs to find him first, figure out the rest later. wally first. wally first. ]
action.
[ he thinks he actually understands what the borg meant when they said resistance is futile. but even if they hadn't resisted, they would have ended up just like artemis, just like kaldur and conner and everyone else — just as dead and gone. instead, they went out in a blaze of glory, knowing damn well they weren't going to make it out alive — and that's all wally can see behind his eyelids. it's all he can feel every time he lets his mind wander, the heat searing his skin from his bones, every cell in his body on fire. ]
[ but he sees rob, too, can feel the warmth of his hand clasped around his own, the last lifeline in a cloud of smoke and flame, and it's enough. it's all he's ever really needed; in his final moments, there isn't anything else he'd rather have but rob right next to him, hands gripped tight so they don't lose each other when there's nothing left but emptiness and whatever lies beyond. wally knows haven isn't the afterlife, but it's after his life now, even though part of him still questions how he can be dead and still have a future with the rest of the team. it doesn't make sense; there was no possible way they would have ever made it out of that mothership alive. even with an infinite number of alternate timelines, wally's fairly sure that would've been the only possible outcome. ]
[ it's rob's voice that jolts him out of his thoughts and he's on his feet faster than a speeding bullet. (okay, probably not actually that fast, but the point remains.) it's instinct, calling out rob's name, there's no second thought or even really a first thought, it's just a reflex to hearing his own name, the way rob sounds panicked — and, if wally's being honest, he's a little panicked, too. ] Rob! [ he even doesn't care that his voice cracks, because rob is close, so close, and he doesn't even have to speed to get to him, he just breaks out into a normal run and barrels into his best friend, arms wrapped tight around rob's shoulders. he sniffs in an attempt to hold back his tears, but it's a futile effort. his voice sounds choked when he finally manages a few words while attempting to laugh at how pathetic he's being. ] Hey, dude.