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[ he knew there would be a point that this needed to happen. avoiding his friends wasn't exactly something like rob liked to do- especially zee. but with the recent bat-family chaos, added on with how he still doesn't feel like he has the energy to try and move past his own chaotic inner state, has all just added up to a few days of near-silence.

rob feels bad for it, really. he should have gotten past this already and just gone back to normal. they're not dating, that's fine. they've not dated before. he can go back to that.

he just needs a second to catch up. ]

Hey. [ oh ouch this is not as easy as he thought it would be. he almost starts in on joking about that 'favorite person' comment but gets caught up in the curiosity of what follows. ] What is it? [ and then, when he realizes she's saying that because she wants him to come by and he huffs a quiet laugh. ] Sure, I can be there in a few minutes.

[The relief she felt when he answered back was rivaled only by what she felt when he said he'd come over.]

[To say she no longer had feelings for Robin would have been a gross exaggeration. Sure, she had fallen in love with someone else after he left...but he had never been too far from her mind. She wanted him to know that much. She could prove it, and maybe even salvage what was currently left of their friendship.]

I'll be waiting.

[Sitting cross-legged on her bed, with a certain box of items in her lap.]

I'll be there.

[ he ends the feed there, really. closes up the device and stuffs it in his pocket, because if they keep talking he might just end up talking himself out of it. mostly because it still hurts, and mostly because he could also feel himself fall back into it.

he's just talking to zee, zee, one of his best friends, one of his favorite people, his...ex...girlfriend.

rob takes a breath and goes back to walking, moving a little faster into the building and up to their room. because while everything is different, it's also all the same. it's still haven, it's still messed up, it's still...well. haven. he makes it to the room not much later, stepping in and finding her sitting on her bed. ]

Hey. [ again. c'mon rob. ] You had something you wanted to give to me?

[She glanced up when he came into the room, offering her best attempt at a welcoming smile. It felt way more forced than it should. Indicating to the spot next to her, she shifted her weight in silent offering for him to sit. Whether or not he would accept was still up in the air.]

You left this here. When you first disappeared.

[From the box, she pulled...a small bundle of fabric. Black, at a glance. Slightly wrinkled--it wasn't as if she'd had an iron handy--but otherwise clean and obviously taken care of. If Robin were to look closely enough at the material, he would recognize it instantly: his cape.]

I held onto it. Just in case. Figured you'd come back for it eventually.

[ he catches the force behind holding up her smile, so he smiles back. nods. even as his chest seizes up when she motions next to her on the bed, only able to move in that direction when she moves to shift over. rob takes the seat right as she looks down to the box.

left...what did he leave? what did he have to leave, other than his friends? ]

Zee, what are you- [ his eyes drop down to the fabric, to the item in her hand, and then he stops.

it's his cape.

his eyes - wide first as he looks down at the item, still wide as he turns to look at her, still not sure if this is happening. ] Seriously? You kept it? [ he's look at her almost like he's asking to hold it, like he's still not convinced that is his. nevermind what it means that she's been keeping it. nevermind what it means that she's giving it back. ]

Of course I kept it. What, did you think I was just going to throw it out just because you...

[Her voice trailed off, and she shook her head. Not wanting to get into that. It wasn't his fault he left. Nor had she ever once blamed him. Better to not even give the chance for him to think that. Focus on the present. The reason she called him here]

Here. It's yours. Take it.

[She passed it over,]

[But there was more weighing on her mind than just the fabric. Even before Robin could reach and reclaim what was his, she had made up her mind. To tell him.]

Kal told me that I should stay away from you, to make things easier, but...

I don't want to. I know it sounds selfish. You're my best friend. Or, at least, you used to be. [She hadn't forgotten. What it meant to stay close, waking up each morning knowing they weren't alone. Talking. Sharing scars. Learning about Haven together.] No matter what I feel for Kon now...you're the one I was here with first. I can't just forget that so easily.

No, I mean. I guess I figured it'd be one of those things that just gets left in the chaos.

[ because it's haven, there's always chaos, and yet here he was looking at something he had honestly forgotten all about. like a person who he'd left behind, a memory he'd unintentionally forgot. she passes it to him and he looks up at her, almost asking (again) if it's okay, before he takes the material between his hands.

but then zee keeps going, and rob's eyes turn back up to her.

he winces at the stay away and feels guilt curl up hotly in his chest. because that's what he'd been doing, that's what he had thought would be best. but leave it to zee to see right through him, right through all of this, and rob just sort of deflates as he turns his eyes back to the cape. rolls it between his hands. for a moment or two longer he's quiet, letting that sit, before huffing out a soft laugh. ]

No, you're- [ a breath, and he looks back up at her, the huff of a laugh turning into a small smile. ] I don't want to stay away from you either. I know it's been a long time for you, and it's stupid of me to think any different. I want to still be friends, I want... [ no, that's stupid. his eyes fall back to the cape in his lap. ]

I just want you to be happy.

[When Robin laughed...it was like a huge weight being lifted from her chest. She almost laughed to, if only as an alternative to crying.]

[He agreed. He didn't hate her. He wanted the same things she did--well, save for one. The one thing she couldn't give him anymore. Which meant she would have to compensate extra with the rest.]

I want you to be happy too.

[A risky move, but then they had always been all about the risk: her hand reached forward, searching for his fingers. Wanting to offer them a reassuring squeeze. I'm still here. I'm still me. I've changed, but I haven't gone away.]

So...we're good, then?

[ it's incredible, the way the air shifts between them. suddenly it feels like he can breath - still a bit tight, still with effort, but he can. zatanna might not be laughing, but he can feel it - the way she almost does, the way she thinks about it. he still thinks he knows her, which might be something he needs to work on, but for now?

now the smiles comes easier, and even if he only glances up at her - brow lifting with his eyes - it's easier. ]

Yeah. [ he notices her hand, and it's too ingrained in him not to turn his own over, to leave the space of hers to fit between them. when they make it there, she squeezes his hand back, the smile getting easier.

even if there's still a voice in the back of his head. don't do this, you're not allowed, not any more. but rather than listening, he takes comfort in the touch, in her. he leans a bit to the side to tap his shoulder against her's. ]

We're good. Asterful, even.

[He might be surprised at the things he was still allowed to do. Like hold her hand. And enjoy holding her hand. And bump shoulders with her, an act which she reciprocated without a second thought. Instinct. Old habits. And all actually completely innocent.]

[...okay, mostly innocent. This was still them, after all.]

Exactly what I wanted to be. Lucky me.

[ it's going to take some time for him to get to there, and even more to realize that it's okay and he can keep doing it. so much of his comfort around zatanna here in haven had been intertwined with the fact they'd been dating, and now he needs to start over. unwind it to realize just how strong the bonds still are, even now.

the shoulder bump has him smiling, laughing a little as he shakes his head - hand still squeezing her's gently. ]

Me too. [ he lets out a breath, then, like he'd been holding it in since their last conversation. ] Thanks for holding onto this, by the way. [ he means the cape. ] I'd completely forgotten about it...

[She gave a casual shrug. It had seemed like the most obvious choice. Even if he'd foregone wearing it during his last days, it was still important to him. And no less valuable in a world where resources were scarse.]

Never hurts to keep a spare blanket handy.

[...she made it sound like a joke, but the truth was that had been exactly what she'd done. Wrapping it around herself at night for the first few weeks after. Like it would make up for the sudden loss of body heat and a familiar presence beside her.]

[ it hadn't even been so much that he didn't want to wear it. he just knew that the fabric of it was too high tech, too special, to have the chance of snagging or being lost just wearing it around. fire-proof, bullet-proof, heat and cold resistant, there were so many more uses for it - more uses for more people.

he couldn't be selfish. ]

I hope it wasn't too short. [ it hurts something in his chest thinking about how that was the only thing she had left of him. ten months, where all she had was this cape. his face falls a little at the thought, turning back to the cape in his lap. ]

I'm sorry, by the way. [ a breath. ] I mean, not that I had any choice in it, but- it still sucks, and I'm still sorry.

[There were so many height jokes she could have made in that moment. Any one of them, he'd've brought on himself. With a comment like that? Knowing her the way he did? Completely his fault.]

[Except...before her tongue could even form the words...he continued on. Apologizing. For something that wasn't even close to being his fault. Something she had never once blamed him for. Oh, she had tried. Being angry was a lot easier than having to fight the urge to cry herself to sleep. Being angry fueled her, gave her a purpose for getting up and letting off as much steam as she could.]

[She had never managed to get angry enough.]

Tell you what. I'll make you a deal.

[The look on her face--a genuine smile, with hints of humor behind that glimmer in her eye. He would know it well.]

I'll considering forgiving you this time, if the next time...we get to leave Haven together.

[Not necessarily go home, because there were repercussions and all sorts of consequences to that she wasn't quite ready for. Not a promise, because that was one neither of them had any power to make. A joke. Or, at least, a partial joke. She had already forgiven him, and by implying that they were still a Team in whatever way they could be...she just wanted him to know that much.]

[ there are definitely more height jokes than are even possible to be mentioned here. but there's also something to say about knowing when is the time for height jokes, and when is not the time, and zee had always been pretty perceptive.

because he knows what would have happened if their roles were reversed. he knows where he would have gone, and what would have happened. it might not be his fault, but it feels like it should have been, somehow. like going and coming back were as simple as waking up in the morning.

he wants her to have been angry at him, because at least he knows how to deal with anger. he knows what to do with that. but when they're somewhere in the middle? with rob feeling responsible despite no one actually blaming him for anything? it eats away at him.

and then there's zee, perfect zee, who says i'll make you a deal and he looks up to see that smile. the kind of smile he has no power to resist copying. it's not as genuine, not as bright, but it's there. and sure, there are issues with what she's proposing. like how when it all comes back to it, neither of them have any way of saying yes or no, but rob sighs anyway. ]

Okay, deal. [ because maybe she's not mad at him, and maybe he still hasn't gotten past that curling in his gut, but they're a team - together or not - and that is never going to change. ]

[In hindsight, she probably should have asked first.]

[Zatanna had always been a physically affectionate person. Even as a child. Whatever stiffness Giovanni may have presented to the general public, behind the scenes...okay, no, he had still been just as stiff. But also warm and loving. In his own way. Never once had she been starved for affection. Hugs. Cheek or forehead kisses. Daily methods for the Zataras when it came to expressing their feelings.]

[Even in Haven. A good percentage of her friends were the same way. Even the Supers--no, especially them. Conner perhaps less so, but Kon compensated enough for the both of them. And Kal was never without his warm, strong hugs when they were needed most, or even simply wanted.]

[So when Zatanna leaned in to lightly wrap her arms around Robin, intending to rest her chin against his shoulder, she hardly thought twice about it. The gesture was so instinctive to her, it would have felt strange not to hug him.]

I'm really glad you're back.

[Come what may, he was one of her best friends and always would be. Getting to see him again...it almost made all the complicated mess worth it.]

[ she probably could have, if she wanted to.

but the truth of the matter is, robin is in a constant state of questioning just where his line for physical affection should lie. before his parents' death, there was almost too much of it - everyone in haley's circus were very physically affectionate, ever since he was born. touch was never something he was starved for, even in the slightest. it was an extreme change when they died and he was adopted by bruce - the extent of his affection a small smile and a pat on the shoulder.

dick wasn't a child, which was why he never allowed himself to miss it. he knew that in bruce wayne's world, physically affection wasn't something that was passed around like words - his attention, his pride, was enough for dick to live with. even if he ended up being the one to wrap his arms around his adoptive father.

dick grayson had been born a physical child, but had grown through an affectionately-starved life. when it came to his friends, he was always fighting that balance - wally a person he could easily be affectionate towards, as if his dna make-up matched up in that way. his other teammates were more complicated, but zatanna? with zatanna it was as easy as it had been with wally - holding hands, bumping shoulders, turning to line up against her when they had gotten into the habit of sharing their bed.

maybe that's why he doesn't even question it, when she leans in and wraps her arms around him. he doesn't even think twice when his face drops down to her shoulder too - falling almost too easily back into the warmth of her arms. he's going to miss this more than anything, he realizes a bit belatedly as he wraps his own arms around her middle, squeezing maybe a little too tightly at first.

rob huffs out a laugh, though it's soft and a bit tired, and he doesn't loosen the hug in the least. ]

Me too. [ because he can't really bring himself to say 'i'm glad i'm back' when he doesn't ever remember leaving. but after seeing what it must have done to zee, seeing how much better she looks - relieved, happy almost - he can be glad for that. ]

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